5 Tips to Help Your Child Feel More Comfortable at the Dentist
Going to the dentist can feel overwhelming for children because they might not know what to expect. Imagine this, you are on your way to an appointment to see a new doctor and you don’t know what is going to happen? Even as adults, going to a doctor or dentist appointment can feel uncomfortable and can make both children and adults want to avoid that feeling of discomfort. Children show this in different ways and express big emotions over the unknown. Their discomfort might show up as whining, crying, protesting (“I am not going!), hiding, or being overly silly to name a few reactions. In this post, we will go over 5 effective strategies to help ease overall worry related to these upcoming appointments for your child.
Tip 1: The Importance of PREP
One of parents’ biggest mistakes before an appointment is avoiding talking about it. As moms, we understand that no one likes seeing their child worried or scared. However, being surprised at an appointment can be more dysregulating for your child and could make future appointments even harder. Instead, teach them how to get through the “hard thing” with your support. PREPPING them is talking about 1) What will happen 2) Teaching WHY everyone goes to the dentist (the dentist helps us take care of their teeth so our teeth can be healthy and strong!) and 3) Talking through the steps of the appointment if possible.
Tip 2: Use Tools to Teach More About the Dentist to Your Child
Books - Reading books about familiar and fun characters going to the dentist can help children feel more at ease about what the appointment could look like. One of our favorite children’s books about the dentist is Daniel Goes to the Dentist (Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood): Cassel Schwartz, Alexandra, Fruchter, Jason: 9781534449091: Amazon.com: Books.
Visuals- Visuals can be so helpful because they can be individualized for your child. By “visual” we often mean just a handwritten drawing. Showing the potential steps for what will happen with simple drawings can help children both understand the upcoming event and allow them to feel a little more “in control” of the situation by having the picture visual to refer to. These pictures can be simple stick figures (nothing fancy!). We like to emphasize that these pictures need to be functional and do the job, and not “perfect”.
Tip 3: Practice at Home to Help your Child Feel More Comfortable
Practicing “what happens at the dentist” can be a very helpful strategy as well. The key is to practice these steps outside of the time you are actually at the dentist; for example, the day or two before the appointment. Practicing these steps with your child can be playfully taught through roleplay! Use a doll or stuffed animal and pretend to be the dentist (“Elephant first gets to wait in the waiting room with their mommy elephant! Here comes the dental assistant, we can go into the dentist’s room now!”). You can switch roles and have your child be the patient and then the dentist; through this roleplay, you can make the steps clear but also light-hearted.
It can also be helpful to practice brushing teeth and flossing outside typical tooth brushing time as well. Parents are better able to teach when they are not pressed by time and routine expectations and in turn, children can learn best when their parents are feeling more relaxed. (Also note: Being a parent is already so busy and we want to be gentle with ourselves but scheduling a few minutes in your day to intentionally teach this skill without time pressure can really support your child’s learning and ease stress in the long run!).
Tip 4: Promote Dental Health Every Day
Megan Miller from Expedition Pediatric Dentistry highlighted how families can help promote daily dental health at home. As a pediatric dentist, she understands how parents can be the biggest model for teaching their children about dental hygiene practices everyday! A simple strategy she recommends to encourage everyday dental health is to practice brushing your teeth at the same time as your kid in the morning and or at night. Providing this model can be so helpful so that your child sees that “it’s everyone’s job to take care of their teeth daily” and seeing how you brush your teeth helps them learn HOW to brush their teeth. Parents can first say “let’s brush together! You get started brushing your teeth by yourself and then I will help you brush”. Another strategy that Dr. Miller suggests is not limiting flossing and teeth brushing to the bathroom only - you can offer your child the choice of where they want to brush their teeth and then if available, incorporate options for choice preference when brushing their teeth. For example, if two different toothpastes or toothbrushes are available to them, you can ask them “What toothpaste do you want to you use tonight? Your choice!” Offering choice increases your child’s autonomy and sense of agency and can make a potentially difficult task more inviting and more empowering!
Tip 5: Find and Share your Calm
As parents, we can feel discomfort when our child is having a hard time. Instead of avoiding these conversations, start talking to them in advance about the dentist. This will allow you and your child plenty of time to process their feelings and learn about caring for their teeth. We also know that every child is different, and children may still have their big feelings, and that’s okay. To support your child in navigating through these big feelings, the first step is finding your calm as much as possible. Before talking to them about the dentist, during the conversation, and while you are the dentist, take a moment to 1) relax your shoulders, 2) take some deep breaths, and 3) relax your body. Your child will feel your calm and your confidence will help ease their stress. Discussing the dentist ahead of time can help you, as the parent, feel more confident about their dental visit. Creating this moment of relaxation and calm in your body provides you more clarity and room in your mind to answer their questions, teach them about what the visit will be like, and what you both will do during that time while there. Your child may still have big feelings over the dentist and that is OKAY. Explain to them that there may be uncomfortable moments and talk about what they can do when they feel uncomfortable. Language that can be helpful for parents is “It’s OK to feel a little worried about the dentist AND still go to the dentist because the dentist helps keep your teeth healthy and strong. To feel a little more comfortable, would you like to bring your teddy bear or your blanket?” Or “I know, it can be hard to go somewhere and feel a little worried about it. It’s OKAY to feel worried. We will go to the dentist and after we can play at the park”. Acknowledge their feelings while also reminding them what the plan is, offer them options to bring along comfort items and plan a fun outing or activity after the appointment to give them something fun to look forward to.
When is a good time to start prepping and teaching my child about their upcoming dental appointment?
This really depends on the child. Young children are just beginning to learn about sequences of events and actions so the concept of time across the week and days is really difficult for them to wrap their heads around. A tool we LOVE using for children to learn about what will happen throughout the day or week is “plan of the day” and “weekly family schedule”- click here to read more about these useful tools! We recommend a day or two leading up to the actual appointment. You know your child best and should do what feels right for you and your family.
As mentioned, every child is different and their reaction and response to going to the dentist might vary! Whether or not your child’s experience at the dentist is on the easy side or more is more on the challenging side, the most important guidance we recommend is being mindful of your own feelings and actively working to find your own calm and share that calm with your child the best you can.
Want to dive into all of this information even deeper? If you would like more direct support and information on parent coaching, email us with any questions you have, or schedule a FREE consultation HERE. We offer customized support to help each family’s individual needs and create tools and resources that support your family.
